Date: July 4, 2012 8:35:26 PM EDT
Subject: I can't help it. . .
Back on the air.


Random thoughts:

I've resorted to spiritual guidance to help me through this. The first recorded word of God we have (Genesis 1:3, NIV) is "Let there be light!"  He missed a spot.


Old sayings just aren't making sense, anymore:

Two's company. Three's a crowd.    
I'm thinking one is fine and three just greatly enhances the opportunity for a double homicide.

Misery loves company.    
Bullshit. Stop on over. Let's see how much 'fun' we have. Misery loves gin.

Every cloud has a silver lining.    
Don't even get me fucking started on this one, okay?

Tomorrow is another day.    
Of what? Let's try to be a little more specific, Scarlett.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.   Okay, that one I can get behind.

Brevity is the soul of wit.     
What? You're reading this, right? I'm shocked that 'brevity' is part of my vocabulary. Where did that come from?

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.     
No. A bird in the hand is lunch. Or revenge. They both work for me.



Other thoughts:

Has Uncle Sam achieved the same status as Santa? I was wondering because my favorite BAR was closed, today. WTF? It's America's independence day. We're Americans. We drink to celebrate. It's what we do. (Probably some limey bastard conspirators are behind this. Let it go, Winston!)

I'm convinced that Apple is in cahoots with the utility companies. I just can't understand why an iPhone battery the size of a Cheez-It sucks a 450 amp jump-starter dry of juice in less than an hour. Thanks, Steve, wherever you are.


Sent from my current sucking iPhone (that I can't do without)